I, for one, welcome pop-sensation Taylor Swift back into the culture. After a gruelling 18 months without our gracious all-American patriot, she’s returning to your phone, your office, your car, your dinner table and your bed – at long last. We can only hope, with the help of AI tech, we can start to see Taylor in our dreams soon.
2025 has been an uneventful year, other than 60,000 dead Palestinians, human rights injustices in Sudan, the never-ending woke Ukraine war, record-breaking temperatures, the rise of fascism in the West, the leader of the free world on the brink of declaring martial law in the United States of America to distract from allegations of rampant paedophilia within all facets of the elite and the general decline in quality of life across the board, the 25th year of this century is proving to be one that we’re all bound to forget come Christmas. How grateful we are to Taylor, for putting 2025 on the map with her new album ‘Life of a Showgirl’.
This is her 12th studio album (discounting the 187 versions of her other studio works), and by the sounds of it, it may the least mediocre yet, with early reviews asking, ‘Has she dropped the Bon Iver bit yet?’. How excited we all are!
In classic Swift fashion, she turned her fans into rabid Q-Anon moms, with teasers, clues and hints at what’s to come. In a genius PR move, Eagle-eyed ‘Swifties’ saw references to the number ‘12’ as early as last year, seeing that Taylor used 12,000 tonnes of carbon emissions in 2024, in what can only be described as an epic marketing stunt.
Taylor is announcing ‘Life of a Showgirl’ on the New Heights podcast – a show run by two disabled brothers, both victims of CTE, who play or played sports in America. To think that people complain about her political in-action, when the biggest announcement of her career is being made on a show run by the mentally disadvantaged – her contemporaries stunned into silence.*
Now, Taylor is by no means perfect. Who is? Take for instance, her terrible music.
The humanity she demonstrates in her lyricism some are calling ‘bad’ or ‘lazy’. The worms saying this have clearly never been so depressed that they slept in and showed up late to their high school English class one time.
Her wit that so-called ‘people’ call cringe or off-putting have never walked in the shoes of a well-off Aryan teenager in Pennsylvania.
The apathy she demonstrates to political injustice, with the exception of faux girl-power she cynically built her career off. Oh, how quickly we forget her endorsement of a little lady called Hillary Rodham Clinton. Hang on, did I say cynically? I meant to say expertly. That’s my fault, I never learned how to use the backspace key so that’s going to have to stay. Sorry.
In conclusion, Taylor is only human, like Stalin or Jesus. Sure, a gulag here, a plague there. But have you considered the literacy rates?
*Editor’s note: I just discovered that Taylor is also dating one of these, for want of a better and less offensive term ‘retards’. Good for her!
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